In
my opinion, advertising is a double-edged sword. People may buy both the
products they need and the things they do not need through advertisements, so they
are both beneficial and harmful.
Firstly,
one of the most important advantages of advertisements is that they give
information about products to us, so we can remember a product we need and we
may have an idea about it thanks to them. However, the aims of the advertisers
are to sell the product and make a profit, so they may misrepresent their products
and present them as if they were ideal or they may introduce only the good
aspects of their products.
Secondly,advertising establishes competition between companies. As a result of this
competition, more quality and cheaper products are manufactured. Nonetheless,
consumers prefer branded goods because of advertisements although there are the
others which are cheaper and more quality. The reason of this is that they do
not watch the advertisements of the others in televisions or internet.
Finally,
advertisements enable consumer to be more consciousness. Through advertisements,
they may choose the best one for them, because they have already known their
options for a product and the qualities of the options. However, advertisements
affect people especially children negatively. The children under eight years of
age cannot evaluate them critically, so they may easily believe the information
which is presented in advertisements.
In conclusion, advertisements have both advantages and disadvantages, so we should
be aware of its benefits and harms, and we should watch them consciously.
(*) Secondly, advertising establishes competition between companies.(word/preposition choice)
YanıtlaSilDear Zahide,
I liked reading your journal. Firstly, the subject that you chose for your journal is very nice because advertisement is a big problem today. Moreover, you express your thoughts clearly and properly. Your language is very fluent. In my opinion, your mistakes are much less like I have mentioned above. You are very good in terms of punctuation and sentence structure. Then, I want to say something about your organization. In my opinion, your journal has unity and coherence in terms of organization.Briefly; I liked your journal in terms of grammar and organization of the ideas. Congratulations